Worksheet for body paragraph (Re-written)
Topic
sentence
Globalization plays an important role in creating job
opportunities in Bhutan.
Explanation 1
Technology transfer and skills development help in the creation of job opportunities. Bhutan benefits from advancements in technology and knowledge transfer as a result of globalization, which helps in the development of new businesses and job possibilities.
Supporting details
For instance, the expansion of the Information Technology (IT) sector in Bhutan has been motivated by globalization. The increase in registered IT companies from 62 in 2015 to 137 in 2020 (Bhutan InfoComm and Media Authority) indicates the growth of this sector, creating job opportunities for IT professionals. Moreover, Bhutanese workers have also been able to learn new skills and knowledge because of globalization's support of skill development through global relationships along with education programs, boosting their job opportunities.
Explanation 2
Owing to globalization, small and large industries
such as cement, hydropower industries, alcoholic beverages, calcium carbide, and tourism industries
were established.
Supporting details
As stated in Bhutan Economic Review 2020, the hydropower sector employed around 7,000 people in 2019. Globalization has enabled this industry to expand by opening up access to global markets for Bhutan's hydropower exports. As a result, there has been an increased demand for skilled workers in this sector, leading to job opportunities for Bhutanese citizens.
Explanation 3
Furthermore, Foreign Direct Investment (FDI) also contributes to the creation of job opportunities as globalization attracts foreign direct investment, which contributes to job creation in Bhutan. When foreign companies invest in Bhutan, they establish new industries or expand existing ones, creating employment opportunities for the local workforce
Specific examples
For example, the increase in FDI inflows from USD 93 million in 2015 to USD 275 million in 2019 has led to the establishment of new businesses and industries, generating jobs for Bhutanese citizens (Bhutan Economic Review 2020).
Concluding statement
Therefore, technology and skill transfer, industries, and foreign direct investment play an important role in providing employment opportunities which helps reduce the rate of unemployment
in Bhutan.
Connection between Explanation 1 and Support 1 to the controlling idea is not clear. How are the two topics connected? Connection between the two sentences below is not clear; add a sentence in between the two connection the ideas to globalisation - Bhutan’s unemployment rate for 2021 was 3.91%, a 1.12% decline from 2020(World Bank, n.d.). This indicates that globalisation significantly contributes to reducing the Bhutan unemployment rate and reducing income inequalities, thereby improving living standards; explanation 3 claims 'new technologies, knowledge, capital, growth of domestic industry and emergence of skilled workers', but the specific examples does not discuss any of it. Redraft.
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